Dreams
by DEP
Summary: The Doctor see now what he could have had, had he seen what was infront of his nose his wholelife. plz R/R. Consists of the Doctor and an OC.
1. prolougue

A/N: this is the doctor thinking about an OC. If you didn't know. Um I think I will write more on this I have a page I have written in class and I think that it might turn out to be a good story.  
  
He watched her sleeping face and brushed a strand of her silky hair with his long thin finger. He watched her serene face and wondered why he was even here. He's met countless women over the span of his adventures, some of them he had taken the time to know better than the rest but out of those few there was only a minute amount of women that would make him look twice at them and wonder.  
  
What was it that made him want to know those women? What was that quality that sparked the flame inside his heart. He chuckled at his own joke and quickly quelled it when he felt her stir. But what was it. He thought seriously. What had he seen in her that made him want to feel her hair get close enough to dance with her or even let her cry on his shoulder.  
  
Yes she had cried on his shoulder and even after she had finished he had held her, felt her body shake from exhaustion. He sang to her softly cooing a song from his childhood that had so often filled him with comfort.  
  
She had fallen asleep eventually and he laid his arm upon her shoulders gently draping it upon their soft even skin. He inhaled lightly the sent of her hair. It was appealing to his senses and he found himself dipping his nose into her long tresses to get more.  
  
He lifted his hand to stroke her cheek and he lips curled into a slight smile. He himself felt his lips twist into his trademark grin but quickly let them settle as he drifted into a night of peaceful sleep, something he had not had the pleasure of enjoying for so long.  
  
Thank you plz review. 


	2. chap 1

A/N: This chap is short and there is a reason for that. I have work and school and other fics and I think it's a good thing because I will have more time to update if I have just let them be this short. They might get longer if I have the time. Well thanks to all you lovely people who have taken the time to read my fics.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Doctor if I did you would know because you would be reading my books and not my fanfics.  
  
  
  
  
  
Just another well-adjusted turn of a knob and he would be in space. Finally some time to spend just leaning back and waiting for nothingness. He was wary and he could feel it deep inside of him. All that had happened to him in his time in space had become quite a strain on him, especially the loss of his friend.  
  
The pain hurt him, and he wanted to reach out and strike at what ever would came near him. He so wanted to be able to see what nothingness felt like. To feel the dark serenity that would drift past his sleeping mind entrancing him and let his mind soar to limits he had never reached before. What would that peace feel like?  
  
He stood in front of his chamber doors and for a moment he just stood there. He glanced over the door and ran his hand over the smooth wood. He knew that it wasn't real but only a replica that he had conjured. He swept his hand to the handle and felt the cool metal underneath his finger tips, and as he pushed the lever down he heard a slight click; walking past the door frame he walked into a room that smelled of fresh grass and sweet flowers and honeysuckle. These weren't real either. Nothing was. He glanced across his room and took it in. he must have walked into it a thousand times and never seen what it was. Every thing in it was fake; a mere replication of the real thing including the light. He bowed his head in sorrow. "Its all merely a imitation." He said softly into the empty room  
  
His wary heart was bitter and now what could he do. He was a vagabond with nothing that even now could make him feel as though he belonged anywhere. He felt something slide down his cheek and couldn't understand what it was for a long time. It clicked. He was crying. He was awed. He couldn't even remember if he had even cried before. Was that even an emotion that he had felt before? Pain, fear, remorse, loneliness, had he ever even felt the. Nothing could hurt so ad as to feel this way. He'd seen it before and made himself believe that he had felt such things but could it really be true that he could be so heartless as not to even have the ability to carry with him such a precious thing. This must be what being a Time-Lord did to you. The misbirth. A child born with a genetically enhanced body that was void of all depressive thought.  
  
He couldn't bare the thought of living like this.  
  
He took in another breath or the artificial air and made his way back to the console room.  
  
Please review. ^-^ 


	3. chap 2

A/N: Sadness. I don't know really how to describe this one. I might just make it into a mild romantic fiction. What do yall think. You're the ones reading it so I want suggestions.  
  
As he walked into the console room his thoughts ran over his choice of actions. He could always put the randomizer back into its place and go were ever the TARDIS wanted. He could do that or he could go and visit Earth. He really was juggling these two choices around. If he went to Earth he could always walk around by him self and not have to talk to anyone which is what he rather preferred, but there was always the chance that someone would recognize him; after all he had managed to make quite a few friends on Earth. He didn't want to talk to them right now. He just wanted to be left alone.  
  
His mind went to the option of the randomizer, but there were problems there as well. For all he knew he would have to face something that would no doubt be life threatening. He didn't want to do that either. All he wanted to do was sit on a bench in a quiet park and sulk. No noises no distractions. All he wanted was a moment's peace to sort out his thoughts and try to piece his rattled life.  
  
He chose to go to Earth. At least there he knew were there were parks with very few people in them.  
  
He fumbled his fingers on the controls and set the coordinates for a time and place that he knew would be suitable. The rise and fall of the time rotor filled him with a kind of dreamy sense of peacefulness. And until they landed he stared into its middle and thought.  
  
A/N: well what do you think. 


	4. chap 3

A/N: I feel so sad, ah. I need a cookie so when you read my story make sure to send me a virtual cookie. I still don't know which Doctor this is going to be fore. I figure that they bother had blank wooden walls so they all can do until I get around to picking some one. Here's an idea. You review and tell me whom you want to have as the main dude.  
  
Was it possible to see things in the midst of a blank wall, he thought? He stared beyond the time rotor onto the blank wood wall he hadn't yet gotten around to decorating. In his mind he could see it melding into something, he didn't know what but yes is was melding into something. The contrast of the brown in the wood continued to convulge as they formed what no one could mistake as a demon.  
  
He quickly turned his head to the ceiling and squeezed his eyes shut at the horror he had just seen. Insanity is beginning to sink in he thought. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at the ceiling with great interest. He saw the swirling masses of the time space vortex. Would they too haunt him with his demons? The masses he had traveled on and gotten to know so well. Like a friend stabbing him in the back.  
  
His troubled mind was brought away from the blackness and the light speckled masses of the time-space vortex. The loud BONG signified that he had landed and he smiled at the fact that he hadn't the slightest idea were. He didn't care he though coldly. As long as it was somewhere he could think.  
  
He went to the control that opened the door and pressed it. The doors opened with a great whoosh and he walked out with his head held high and his face set in a look that would have turned anyone to stone. Determined to find something out there to cure himself of this depression he set out and the great TARDIS doors closed behind him. 


	5. chap 4

Clean real air. Sweet and light against his face. He handn't even set both feet on the earth and he already felt at home. If only he could stay here in peace forever then nothing would be able to bother him. He'd block out the world and be rid of it. Let the universe take care of its self, right here was were he wanted to be and it was here he would stay. It was night and he stared at the stars in the sky wondering what it felt like to be so ignorant of their magnanimity. So few people on this planet knew what they meant but maybe it was all for the best for them. There were some terrible things out there, harmful things.  
  
He looked around at the building that lined the roads and the river just 20 feet away from him and noticed the fairy lights that were in the trees. They were everywere. Purple, green ,yellow, and they rememded him of something. They rememded him of the times he used to spend with him father before he had left. He regreted not being able to have those again. He had told her about those times, well one of them. Some of them were just for him to know and he would never tell anyone.  
  
" Purple, green, yellow lights, Doctor." He turned slowly at the voice and saw Doctor Grace Holloway standing in the shadow of a tree just three feet from the one he was leaning against. She looked at it longingly and touched it with her hand. " Do you remember?" She looked at him for a moment then stared back down at the tree.  
  
He'd landed back in SanFransisco. The TARDIS had taken him here and he hadn't noticed. The TARDIS knew him so well and once again he began to wonder if the TARDIS wasn't acctually alive. For a moment he could only stare at her because her face unreadable and he couldn't figure out what she was thinking. In many ways he supposed she could hate him and there are many ways in which she'd still like him. But he just couldn't figure out, because of her facial expression. There was none. He spoke tentatively, "Grace." it was a whisper, but it was all he could manage.  
  
"You remember though, don't you, or else you wouldn't be so nervous?"  
  
She still wasn't looking at him, and that made the Doctor think. He opened his mouth to talk, closed it again, and opened it for a second time to finally manage to get what he wan't to say out. "Yes, I do remember." Perhaps this was some cause of the Doctor's depressed state. It has only been a little while for him since he had left her, and the amnesia must have been a blessing, because it allowed him to love her. Against his better judgment, he had loved somebody, and he knew he couldn't stay with her forever. But she had kissed him back, and now he felt guilty for leaving her behind even though she hadn't wanted to come. "Do you hate me for leaving you?"  
  
"No," she said, in barely a whisper. "But I want you again. I missed you." 


End file.
